Sarah vs The Collapse
by sdchuckfan
Summary: Sarah irrevocably changes Chuck's world. How will she deal with the aftermath of her decision?
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**: I don't own Chuck or any of the characters._

_A/N: Incorporates elements from the show up to the episode vs. The Break Up. Thanks for tshadow for the early beta; all new errors are solely mine._

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Sarah looked out onto the blue green waters of the Pacific Ocean from her room in Tamarindo Beach, Costa Rica. It had been two days since they arrived and slowly she felt the tension and anxiety slipping from her body.

She was in bad need of a vacation; especially since working with Chuck required her to do twice as much than would've been needed if he just had stayed in the car. But finally she was able to relax and spend the next few days not thinking about who was going to be after him next. Although once this mini-vacation was done, she knew she would be hard at work tracking Fulcrum down.

A voice came out of the room and Sarah turned to face him. "What did you say?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to head down for some dinner. I'm starving."

Sarah smiled, "Sounds good."

"You know I'm glad that you finally agreed to come with me here. I remember you shot me down the last time I asked if you wanted to go on vacation with me."

"That was then, this is now." Sarah turned to face the ocean once more, trying to hide the passing look of sadness on her face.

"Well let's enjoy it while it lasts; after this it's back to work."

"I know. By the way, thanks again."

"For what?"

"For breaking cover and waiting for me."

"It was no problem. I'm just glad you're with me Sarah."

"I'm glad too, Bryce."

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_2 weeks prior:_

Sarah sat alone in her room. Her thoughts all swirling about in her head, all concerning what she did earlier or more specifically what she didn't do earlier.

They were sent on a mission with Bryce Larkin to recover a disk containing decrypted information about Fulcrum. All Chuck needed to do was make the exchange and secure the disk. But that's when it all went to hell in a hand basket. Somehow a Fulcrum agent learned of the meeting and decided to crash the party.

Bryce was able to grab the disk but the agent was able to grab Chuck. She placed a gun against his head and demanded the disk for his safety. Bryce knew she was hiding behind the far wall and had a clear shot at the agent. So reluctantly he kicked over the disk and shouted for her to take the shot.

But nothing came.

He shouted at Sarah again to take the shot.

But still nothing. Sarah had hesitated; she couldn't risk hitting Chuck despite her prowess with the weapon.

Luckily Casey was able to take the agent out and save both the disk and Chuck. "If you want something done, do it yourself" he grunted.

Sarah looked at Chuck with teary eyes; they both knew it. She hesitated. She could've easily taken the shot but she didn't because of her concern for Chuck. Concern for him not as an asset but concern for a loved one. Sarah knew that he and the rest of them could've been killed. It was at that moment, she made her decision.

Sarah looked out onto the L.A. skyline. She recalled she had promised Ellie that she would be her bride's maid and that they would look over dresses tonight. She also had told Chuck that they were due for a talk; one where she was going to tell him finally what she really felt. But that was before the events of the day.

Sarah texted a message to Casey letting him know what she had planned and to break it gently to Chuck. Her next text went to a number that she thought she would never have to use, Bryce's phone number. She quickly sent the coded message to Bryce, signaling that she wanted to meet up with him.

With that, Sarah Walker exited Chuck's life.

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_A/N: So starts my second foray into a serious fanfic._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks for all the great response from the first chapter, though I didn't realize the major anti-Bryce sentiment out there. And don't get me started on the Sarah backlash. One thing I guess I didn't make clear in the previous chapter is how she wasn't enjoying her time on that "vacation" and that was my fault. Just hang in there and I hope that everyone will get some sort of satisfaction or another._

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2 years later:

Sarah leaned back against the wooden crate, trying to make sure that every inch of her body was completely covered. She felt the sting of little toothpicks hitting the side of her face, coming from the pieces of the box that she had hidden behind. Much better for the bullet to ricochet off the box than to find their mark. Looking over to her right, Sarah saw Bryce hiding in the same manner.

They had both been tipped off that the warehouse was also a meeting place for Fulcrum agents. They had staked out the place for the last few days; needing to validate that their information was correct. Unfortunately for them the rogue agents were also tipped off to their presence and were prepared for their arrival.

Looking over at Bryce, Sarah couldn't help but feel a bit of worry coming over her. Not that she loved him; their so called relationship was dead before it had even started. Sarah couldn't help but feel overwhelming guilt whenever she was with Bryce doing anything that wasn't related to fighting Fulcrum. For his part, Bryce could sense that Sarah's heart was elsewhere and that she was using him as a way to forget the one she really loved. Since she came back into his life they were never more than reluctant friends and working partners.

Sarah shouted over to Bryce, "How many do you have left?"

"About half a clip. You?"

"3 rounds."

Bryce let out a sigh. "Well I guess that's it then. It's been fun Sarah. You've been a good partner."

"You too Bryce."

"I'm sorry that we couldn't see this through to the end so that you could go back to where you belong."

Sarah nodded slightly. She knew what he was implying. She belonged back at the place where she was the happiest; the place that most likely wouldn't welcome her back anymore. She looked over and motioned for one last run against the enemy.

Bryce nodded back and lifted up his finger, intending to count down to zero. As he reached one, he heard the enemy shouting and saw that they were redirecting their aim. Someone had come and distracted them.

Bryce and Sarah both leaned out just in time to see Chuck rappel from the rafters, while simultaneously taking out a few of the Fulcrum agents.

Sarah couldn't contain her surprise; his was the last face she ever thought she would see. Sarah had long since accepted that she wouldn't be able to go back to him, let alone see him again. Yet here he was saving them from imminent doom. It took all her strength to keep her behind the safety of the crate and not running out there into his arms.

Bryce saw the look on Sarah's and knew his intuition was correct; she never did let Chuck go. He looked on and watched Chuck expertly take out one bad guy after another; maneuvering through the maze of crates and ambushing those agents hiding in wait.

Chuck finally reached the section of the warehouse they were hiding. He proceeded to hand them a bunch of clips, to replenish their weapons. "Out the back door, now."

Sarah was taken aback from the lack of eye contact between her and Chuck. It was almost as if they were strangers once more. She sighed, knowing that she was the last person Chuck wanted to see.

They ran out the back and towards a waiting van. They opened up the backdoors to see a beautiful, late twenty-something, brunette with long hair behind the wheel.

"Hello? Get in already. If you didn't notice, this isn't the safest place to be" exclaimed the brunette.

Sarah and Bryce jumped into the back while Chuck pulled out a large case. He quickly opened it, revealing a Javelin anti-tank missile. He sprinted well away from the van and aimed towards the warehouse they were in. Pulling the trigger, Chuck watched as a single missile lit up the night sky as it barreled towards the warehouse with all the enemy occupants still inside.

With a satisfied smile on his face, Chuck watched the building explode; toppling on top of all the enemy agents. His smile slowly faded as he realized who he had to face next, Sarah.

Sarah watched as Chuck came back to the van. She smiled and said "Chuck, I'm so happ..." only to be interrupted as he forcefully closed the back doors. She was waiting for her next chance to talk to Chuck, thinking that he would jump into the passenger side's seat; only to be disappointed as she watched Chuck walk in front of the van and put on his helmet. Sarah sighed as she saw Chuck speed away into the night. She didn't know why she expected a different reaction; she did leave him abruptly and without explanation.

Bryce took the seat next to the brunette and introduced himself. "I'm Bryce, this is Sarah. We'd like to know the name of our saviors, if possible" said Bryce who was trying to be extra charming. Sarah meanwhile rolled her eyes at his lame attempt to ingratiate himself to the lovely young woman.

"That's Agent Charles Carmichael in front, who you both probably already know." The brunette turned to face Bryce and said coldly "I'm Agent Courtney McLoughlin and I'm not interested."

Sarah smiled at Courtney's rejection of Bryce's advances. "Where are you taking us?"

"To Chuck's place. He will meet us there. As for what's on your mind, I don't know if he'll be in the mood to talk to either of you."

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A/N: Ok someone asked for a catfight; say hello to Courtney. Should be interesting. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Chuck maneuvered his way around Sarah who was standing in the middle of the hall trying to block his way out. He knew she wanted to work things out with him but right now, he was fine with the anger and resentment he felt whenever he saw her face.

"Chuck. Please don't go. Let me explain myself and my decision two years ago" pleaded Sarah.

Chuck stopped walking for a second, as if contemplating doing what she asked, but then continued on his way out. Before he was able to reach the end of the hall, Bryce stood in his path trying to do the same as Sarah. Chuck tried to work his way around him as well but then Bryce brought his hand up and placed it on his chest.

"Chuck. Sarah just wants to talk, that's all. You should hear her out before storming off; there are a lot of things you two need to work out" stated Bryce. Although he and Sarah had ended their renewed relationship as soon as it began, he still felt some lingering emotions towards her and could see the pain Chuck was causing her at the moment.

First looking at the hand on his chest and then at Bryce's face, Chuck growled "I would remove your hand from where it is before I separate it from your body."

Bryce never before saw the look of anger and raw emotion emanating from Chuck's face. "Chuck, be reasonable. We just want to talk to you, but be assured that I will and can detain you until you listen."

A smile broke out on Chuck's face. "Detain? Me? Funny Bryce. The days that you could do that have long since passed. Final warning."

Bryce didn't take kindly to challenges. "I'd like to see you try to get by me. You may be an agent now, but I still have more experience than you."

With that a scuffle broke out between the two former college mates and friends. Sarah stood in the same position she was in, unable to break up the quick moving mass of flailing limbs. Just as Courtney was going to move in to break it apart, Casey held up his hand and motioned her to stay out of it.

"What are you doing Casey? Someone is gonna get hurt here soon" said Courtney.

"I know. But this is something that Larkin and Walker need to find out sooner than later." He stared at the two men fighting before continuing, "Walker's still holding onto the belief that what she did 2 years ago was a good decision. Let's see how she reacts when she sees the new Chuck she in part created" replied Casey.

Courtney looked over to Chuck and Bryce who were both throwing and dodging punches and moved back next to Casey, understanding what he was trying to do.

Chuck was toying with Bryce and could've taken him out in an instant but wanted to let him believe he had a fighting chance of taking him down. But now he was done and wanted to leave, so he quickly sidestepped to the left and dodged Bryce's stiff right punch. Seeing his opening, Chuck punched Bryce square in the middle of his midsection which caused him to spit out most of the air in his lungs. Bent over and gasping for breath, Bryce was about to fall to his knees when Chuck grabbed him by the throat with his right hand. Then Chuck quickly picked up the smaller man and threw him against the wall, pinning him by the throat. Chuck brought his face close to Bryce's, which was now at Chuck's eye level since he was forced onto his tiptoes.

"Don't ever presume to think that you know anything about who I am now." Chuck looked over to Sarah. "The Chuck you knew died two years ago" he shouted. "I am all that's left."

Sarah gasped and tears flowed from her eyes. She didn't know that her decision to leave him would turn out this badly; she had assumed that Chuck would move on with his life. Little did she know how bad Chuck's life had turned out.

Looking back at Bryce, Chuck's voice lowered. "Do you know when the Chuck you knew died? Huh? Do you?" He looked to Sarah to see if she could answer. All he saw was her head shaking. "It was the day Morgan was killed when Fulcrum came after me at the Buymore."

Sarah gasped; she never knew of Morgan's death and that it was caused by a Fulcrum attack. Her training was the only thing keeping her from totally breaking down amid the news. But just as the sadness filled her, something else crept it's way into her body. Anger. Anger against the agent sent to protect Chuck, his family, and his friends. Within Sarah's mind questions bounced around: where was the agent, why didn't he protect Chuck, and why didn't they see this threat beforehand. Chuck's voice broke her out of her mind's eye and back into reality.

Chuck continued, "That's when the naive, nerdy, game-loving man you once knew went away and I stepped in. So forgive me if I don't want to talk about the good ol' days with you, the man you want to talk to is gone. Chuck Bartowski is dead; Charles Carmichael is all that's left."

Chuck dropped Bryce, who fell to the ground and was gasping for breath. Sarah's eyes flooded with tears; she had no idea what happened to Morgan during her time deep undercover. She rushed after Chuck who was leaving through the front door when Courtney stood in her way.

"Sorry blondie. I think Chuck needs his time alone" said Courtney coldly.

"Get out of my way. I need to talk to Chuck" snapped Sarah.

"I bet you do. The thing is, Chuck doesn't need or want to talk to you."

"Who are you to stop me?!? I suggest you step aside before things get ugly."

"As far as I'm concerned, you made things 'ugly' a long time ago. If you think I'll let you hurt Chuck again, you have another thing coming."

"What are you, his girlfriend?" Sarah felt a bit of jealousy building within her as what she just asked fully seeped into her mind.

"Why? Are you jealous?" mocked the brunette. "To answer your question, no I'm not his girlfriend. Despite my efforts otherwise."

A wave of relief passed through Sarah; that is until she saw the growing anger in Courtney's eyes.

"What right do you have to be jealous of any woman in Chuck's life anyways? You left any connection to Chuck behind the day you left to prance around with Bryce. As far as I'm concerned, you let Chuck know loud and clear that he meant nothing to you."

"You're wrong. Chuck meant everything to me. You have no idea what it did to me to leave him behind" shouted Sarah.

"It didn't seem so hard to me. You did it quite easily and didn't even bother looking back for the last two years."

"Don't talk to me as if you know me. I was compromised and I endangered his life every minute I stayed there. Leaving was the only recourse left to me. You don't know what it's like to leave the man you love."

Courtney laughed. "Love? That's total bullshit. You didn't love Chuck."

"Who are you to say who I loved or not?"

"You know how I know that you didn't love him? Because if I was in your place and in love with Chuck, the thought would never have crossed my mind that someone else could protect him better." Courtney stepped closer to Sarah and looked dead straight into her eyes. "I would never trust anyone with my loved one's safety other than with myself. I am the only one who would be the most motivated to keep him safe. That's how I know you didn't truly love him; you left responsibility for his life to a stranger."

Sarah was shocked, not at the brashness of the junior agent but at the inherent truth in her statement. If she did truly love Chuck, she wouldn't trust anyone with his safey; not a fellow agent, not even Casey. She would've wanted to be at Chuck's side at all times, knowing that there might be better agents out there to protect him but none would be as driven as she would be with the one she loved.

Sarah was taken aback and whimpered, "I know I couldn't have done my job. Our last assignment together, I hesitated and didn't take the shot that I knew I could make. I almost cost Chuck his life."

"So what?"

"What do you mean? How can I say that I can protect Chuck if I can't keep my emotions out of my decisions? That agent almost killed Chuck and got away because of me."

"So you base your whole reason for leaving on that single incident? An incident, by the way, which could've been avoided if Chuck received the minimal amount of training. What about the other scenarios? The scenarios where love drives the compromised agent to work harder and longer than others because they don't want anything bad to happen to their loved one. The scenarios where the compromised agent demolishes all obstacles between them and make sacrifices no other would in order to protect the one they love." Courtney crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side. "So who do you want protecting you? The agent who thinks of you as just another job and can always get another if they fail or the agent who thinks of you as an extension of themselves and would do anything to prevent anything bad from happening to you?"

Sarah knew Courtney had a point but she still held on to the belief that her decision was right. "We could never have been together. The agency would've reassigned me for being unprofessional. By going with Bryce I would be able to protect him in an indirect way."

"That's bullshit and you know it. You didn't even start a fight over him with the agency. You shied away from any confrontation and you never even tried to find out if they were willing to compromise. So much for fighting for your love ones huh."

Once again Sarah was silent and turned her eyes to the floor.

"What's wrong blondie? Cat got your tongue? You want to know the joke in all this? Huh, do you?"

Casey finally finally spoke out. "Courtney, don't. This might not be the right time to delve into this."

"Shut up John. She needs to know the repercussions of her decision." She turned to face Sarah once more. "The joke in all this is that the one who betrayed the CIA; the one who shot John in the back and crippled him; the one who shot and killed Morgan Grimes; the one who absolutely destroyed Chuck Bartowksi; that person was the agent the CIA sent to replace you!"


	4. Chapter 4

Sarah's jaw dropped; her face now fully showing the shock and horror of what she just heard. She couldn't wrap her head around what Courtney just told her; the agent sent to replace her was actually Fulcrum. The tears that were flowing before were now torrents running down her cheek. Sarah fell back against the wall, the only thing keep her from collapsing on the floor in a lump.

Courtney continued. "That's right barbie, the agent that you thought would protect Chuck much better than you could in your compromised state ended up being the one betraying him and the team. So what do you think about your professionalism now?"

Sarah couldn't do or say anything; the words she needed to form a proper response evaded her. The training that she lived her life by told her that leaving Chuck was the right thing to do, but now it seems that it was totally wrong. Sarah sank even deeper into herself. She didn't know any of this had happened; she was too busy believing she was doing the best thing by going after Fulcrum with Bryce. But now that same decision which seemed right so long ago ended causing what she hoped to prevent: the collapse of Chuck's world. All her effort, the heartache, the sacrifice of what she and Chuck could've had; it was for all for naught. Then a thought crossed her mind which sent shivers down her spine. She looked up and saw that Courtney knew what she was thinking.

"You understand now, don't you? You understand that if you hadn't left, none of this would've happened. The agent wouldn't have been sent, John would still be able to walk without a cane, Morgan would be alive, and Chuck wouldn't have pulled away from his sister and become the empty man we have today."

Sarah nodded her head. She understood; she was the cause of the collapse of Chuck's world. It wasn't because of her being compromised as an agent but her decision to leave her loved one behind alone to fend for himself.

"You know what the tragic part is? It's that Chuck doesn't blame anyone. He doesn't blame that moron Bryce for sending him the intersect; he doesn't blame the CIA or NSA for forcing him into this world; he doesn't even blame you for not being there. You know who he blames?"

Sarah shook her head slowly.

"He blames himself. He blames himself for not receiving that flash fast enough. He blames himself that he wasn't able to warn John before he got shot. He blames himself for Morgan dying when he took the bullet meant for him. He doesn't blame you; he blames himself. It amazes me that Chuck after all this time and after all you did to him, that he doesn't place a single shred of blame of what happened at Buymore on that day on you."

"If its not about that, then why is he so angry at me?"

"You know why? This is what he's angry at you for." Courtney pointed her index finger at Sarah and pushed it into her chest. "He's angry at you for misplacing his trust. He told me that you asked him to trust you and he did so unconditionally. He trusted you with his life and more importantly, with his heart. But what did you do with that trust? You tore it to shreds and rubbed it in his face as you went back with your boy toy Bryce. That's what he blames you for and why he is so angry. Nothing else." Courtney ground her teeth before continuing. "But being the idiot Chuck is, part of him still loves you despite everything that happened and everything you did to him. Go figure, that guy wasting his love for someone who doesn't even want it or deserve it."

Courtney looked at the trembling figure before her. From the moment she met Chuck she felt the need to be protective of him. Even after all his training and as his abilities improved, she still felt the need to watch over him and keep him from harm. "I would think long and hard before trying to talk to Chuck and starting something with him. Because if you hurt him again, I will END you and that pitiful excuse of a man Bryce myself. Do you understand?"

"Yes" replied Sarah meekly.

"Good because unlike Chuck or John, I have no history with either of you and I will enjoy pulling the trigger." With that Courtney stormed out of the room and into the back patio.

Sarah stood silently for a few moments, thinking of what she had just heard. Never had Sarah been rendered so speechless or been left so impotent. Courtney had overwhelmed her with everything she said and she couldn't refute a single bit of it. Sarah lamented at the fact that a junior agent was able to see and understand things more clearly than she did. The tears were slowly drying her cheek when she turned to see Casey dropping Bryce onto the couch, still recovering from his encounter with Chuck.

Casey broke the silence. "Quite the firecracker isn't she?" he said with a chuckle. "We went through several CIA agents until she came long. Before her, Chuck would reject one after the other; not willing to trust any of them. Then she came along and basically forced Chuck to accept her and eventually trust her. I don't need to tell you about her angry side; even Chuck has gotten burned by her several times. But overall she is a great, but still young, agent."

"It's good to see you again Casey" said Sarah as she watched him nod in response. "Is there something between her and Chuck?"

"At one point I thought she was in love with him but now it seems she views Chuck as an older brother; someone to look up to but also someone to protect."

"And Chuck?"

"Same way I believe. He tries to act as if he doesn't care but it's fairly obvious that he's protective of her; just like an older brother should."

Sarah watched as Casey picked up his cane and walked over to her. She remembered how it was her fault that he had lost his mobility. "Casey, I'm so sorry. I didn..."

"Don't even think of finishing that sentence" replied Casey, interrupting her. "I know better than anyone what the consequences are for our line of work. Considering all the things that could've happened to me, I got off easy I believe."

Sarah nodded to show she understood. They both stood there silently for a moment, reflecting on what just transpired and all the events that occurred.

"What happened to Chuck, Casey?" asked Sarah.

Casey looked out the door which Chuck took when he stormed out. "More than should happen to such a good guy." He sighed before continuing, "He fully understood why you left and though I could see the pain in his eyes, he went on with life. He was working on leaving the Buymore and said that he was finally getting on with his life. Everything was looking good until he found out that you had gone back to Bryce."

"How did he discover that?"

"It was before we got a replacement agent; he and I were sent on a mission together to capture a Fulcrum agent experimenting on people outside of San Diego. After we captured him, Chuck hacked into his computer and that's where he saw reports of your activity with Bryce. That was when things went downhill."

Sarah's eyes slowly fell to the floor as she knew firsthand where the bottom of that hill went.

Casey continued. "Chuck became quite depressed and according to Ellie, started to revert back to the way he was after the whole Stanford debacle: sad, lifeless, and closed off. From a mission standpoint we also saw a marked decrease in the frequency of his flashes. For some reason his ability to flash was connected to his emotional status and at his lowest point he almost stopped receiving them altogether."

It had never occurred to Sarah that Chuck's emotions would affect the intersect; she had always viewed them as two separate entities, neither one affecting the other.

Casey continued, "That's why when your replacement Agent Summers arrived there was no warning from the intersect. Chuck told me some time later that he did receive a flash that morning but couldn't understand it until after the whole thing went down. The data from the intersect was there but he failed to comprehend it. So without warning Summers shot me in the back while we were in the castle and tried to kill Chuck, that is until Morgan stepped into the path of the bullet and saved him. Amidst the surprise, Chuck was able to grab Summers and kill him with his own weapon. He was able to call the ambulance but by that time Morgan had died in his arms."

Sarah's eyes teared up once more at the mention of the death of Chuck's best friend. Although she found him a bit weird, he also had worked his way into her heart. Sarah admired his loyalty to Chuck during his more dark times after his expulsion from Stanford. Although at times it had seemed like Chuck was constantly looking out for his little friend, it was more like a two-way street; each helping the other. She felt the loss and could only imagine how much more Chuck had felt. Sarah looked up, "Courtney mentioned him pulling away from Ellie?"

"Yeah. In the days after the incident at the Buymore, Chuck grew more and more paranoid. Not for his own safety but for those around him. He finally came to me one day and asked to be trained as an agent and to be given a new identity away from Ellie and Devon. I tried to talk him out of it; I thought he needed the support of his family at the time. But he was adamant; Chuck felt that no amount of agents could ever guarantee their protection. So he did what he thought was right: he gave them a cover story and left them behind." Casey smirked, "Sounds familiar doesn't it?"

Sarah nodded. "So that's how we find ourselves now with the robotic, super-agent Charles Carmichael. The perfect spy: always keeps an emotionless front, never deviates from protocol, and never ever lets anyone too far into his heart. He basically turned into us. Well, the version 'us' before we met him."

"Why did he become an agent? He didn't need to go that far."

"True but I think revenge against Fulcrum was his main goal. Before you even ask, I can tell you that he is better than most of the agents out there today. Obviously better than Bryce and perhaps better than either you or I in our prime. He also has one thing that for now that has made him so successful but will ultimately be his downfall: he lives and fights as if he has nothing to lose. For now it has been to his benefit since it allows him to take risks other agents would balk at, rush into and overcome impossible situations, and execute missions no one else would take. But sooner or later it will catch up to him and at that time no amount of skill will be able to save him." Casey watched Sarah's eyes as she came to a realization. "So you understand that as well? Chuck is heading down the same path we were once and we both know that that path doesn't end well. Add in the fact that he acts so recklessly and we'll be meeting again at his funeral in no time at all."

"What are you going to do Casey?"

"That's not the right question." Casey picked up his cane and pointed it to Sarah. "The right question is what are YOU going to do about it?"

"Me? Did you just miss world war III just a second ago? I tried to talk to him."

"Yeah you did, but you tried talking to him under the wrong premise. You tried to talk to him under the impression that what you did 2 years ago was right and justified. Now you see that you were wrong. I want you to go to him now, fully understanding the error of your decision."

"I don't know if I can."

"Well you better find a way or things will end badly."

"What is it that I'm supposed to do? What can I say or do that will help him?"

"I don't know but maybe start by giving him something to live for. Something that will remind him that he has a life worth living, just as he had reminded us when we first started guarding him. Don't worry; Chuck will listen to you despite what you've seen today. For some odd reason you two always had a deep connection."

Sarah nodded slowly, acknowledging that she and Chuck had been close from the first time they met.

"Good." Casey started walking to one of the rooms in the back of the house. "He'll be at the bar on Fifth."

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_A/N: Getting kind of hard writing these Chuck stories when the show is forcing me to feel quite indifferent to what happens with Chuck and Sarah. I'm hoping that the next episode will lift my mood. Thanks to cville and all the others who helped me out and gave me their opinions on my characters. Sorry if it doesn't live up to expectations._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Here's much waited response from Chuck. Thanks to some nice reviews I'm not so bummed out with the tv storyline._

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After waiting for an hour or so to let heads cool off; Sarah walked into the dive bar that Casey had directed her to. It was mostly empty except for a handful of people were spread about the whole place; more concerned about their drink than anything else. Sarah looked around hoping to find who she was looking for until she was startled by a voice directed at her.

"He's in the back. Corner seat."

"Excuse me?" Sarah replied to the bartender.

"The guy you're looking for; he's in the back." The bartender noticed the confused look on the blonde's face. "Charles has been coming in here for the past year or so. He comes in, asks for a beer, and then takes his usual seat in the back corner."

"How do you know I'm looking for Charles?"

"Probably because you look like a heartbreaker who has probably made many a men want to drown their sorrows in a bottle of alcohol in her life, kind of how he's doing right now."

Sarah smirked at the remark and let out a scoff.

"But mainly because Charles' description of you. He's right; you are quite the looker."

"Thanks" replied Sarah who was slightly happy at the fact that Chuck still talked about her.

"Just do me a favor. Don't hurt him again. He never says too much when he comes up but the times he does open up, I can tell he's a really good guy."

Sarah smiled back at the man. "Yeah, he is."

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Sarah got to the back and wasn't there for more than a second when she heard someone tell her to leave. She turned to her left and saw the familiar mop of dark brown hair. Chuck was sitting at a table facing the back wall.

"I said to leave" ordered Chuck.

Sarah noticed the slur in his voice and the way his head swayed and knew Chuck was half gone. "I'm sorry Chuck, I can't do that. Despite what you think of me, I still do care for you and I want to make sure you're ok."

"I'm ok. I'll be even better once you turn around and walk out that door."

"Chuck, please. Talk to me."

Chuck raised his head and turned to face Sarah. "Talk Sarah? Since when did you want to talk to me about anything? Why didn't you want to talk before whenever anything about our so-called relationship came up? To me it seems quite late to talk." Chuck watched as Sarah's eyes teared up and despite carrying anger against her for the last two years, the sight of her crying still affected him. "Fine, you want to talk? What did you want to talk about? About how you just walked out of my life and back into Bryce's? About how I was a fool to think that someone like you could actually fall for a guy like me? Is that what you want to talk about?" shouted Chuck. "I'm sorry but the days where you can just walk in, flash a smile, and bat your eyelashes to wrap me around you little pinky have long since passed."

"I know that but let me explain myself. At least hear my side of the story." Sarah saw Chuck nod. "I know it'll be hard to believe but at the time I thought the best solution was to leave. I almost got you killed on our last mission together because of my feelings for you. Even though I made that same shot a hundred times before that time I couldn't risk it; I couldn't risk hitting you. And because of that one hesitation, the enemy came so close to killing you. So that's when I decided to break contact with you; at least that way you would be guarded by someone who would be able to protect you to the fullest. Or so I thought."

"I guess we both know how well that plan turned out. So much for someone else protecting me better than you could've."

"There's no way that I could've known that my replacement would be Fulcrum, Chuck. My only thoughts were that someone uncompromised would be your best guardian; someone who could see clearly and take steps that I couldn't. But yes, I know I was wrong. I told myself that leaving you and the team was the best option. But Courtney was right; I should've been the one to protect you. I should've been protecting the one I loved the most, not some stranger."

"What do you want me to say Sarah? That now that you have told me why you left that I would forgive you and all would be back to normal? Sorry, but normal is no longer an option. You made sure of that."

Remembering her conversation with Courtney, Sarah said "I know it wasn't only about me leaving that you're angry at, is it? It's who I left with."

Chuck looked up from the table and stared into Sarah's eyes, anger building within him. "Of all the people to go back to, you head back to the man who ruined my life not twice, but now THREE times! Why him?!" said Chuck as he slammed his fist into the table. "Once again Bryce easily takes what I want and love and I get to be the nice guy who finished last."

Sarah took a step back and tried to formulate an answer for him. "I thought that if I went back to him, I would somehow be able to forget all about you. That I could immerse myself in the past when I thought I loved him." She looked up and saw anger growing in Chuck's eyes. "But no matter what, you always were on my mind. The way you look, how you smell, the way your hair curls, all of that kept returning to the front of my mind. You were never out of my thoughts."

"Well, if that's the case then of course it's alright" said Chuck sarcastically. "Wrong! Am I supposed to believe there were no romantic feelings shared during your time together? That nothing went on between you two?"

"I won't lie to you Chuck, we had tried to rekindle what we had but it was over before it began. You know why? Because I love you, not him. Because every time he tried to get close to me, all I felt was guilt that I never was honest with you when we were together. It killed me was that I was never able to tell you how I really feel about you before I left." Sarah sat down in the chair opposite of Chuck's. "I know what I did was inexcusable, but you have to believe me that I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. That by sacrificing what we could've had, I would be able to prevent anything bad from happening to you."

Chuck let out a scoff. "You know as well as I do that that isn't the main reason why you left. You want to try again?"

Sarah's eyes widened and after a brief moment she conceded. "You always did know what I'm thinking. I could never hide from you." She let out a long sigh. "You're right, it wasn't the only reason. That was only the half-truth. My training had told me that in my compromised state that I wouldn't be able to properly make decisions regarding your safety. That my feelings for you would always get in the way." Sarah paused while she gathered the strength to continue. "But the main reason I left was because I was afraid."

"The great Sarah Walker afraid? Afraid of what?" mocked Chuck.

"Afraid of what it would do to me if anything had ever happened to you." Sarah glimpsed at Chuck's eyes still full of anger but still they told her to continue. "By now you know that we agents are taught to separate our feelings from the situation at hand. Some call it our shield, our outer shell, or our so-called agent mode. But it all describes the same thing: emotional detachment. We wouldn't be able to do the horrible things we are asked to do if we couldn't detach ourselves emotionally from what we were doing. At one time I thought I had a impenetrable shield." Sarah brought her hands together in front of her and leaned her head down. "Before I was assigned to you those years ago and before the incident in the depot, I was in a very similar situation with Bryce. The details don't matter but suffice it to say I was able to take the shot with Bryce there that I wasn't able to take with you. The bullet passed inches from his head yet I didn't hesitate like I did when you were in the same situation. You know why? Though I thought I loved him, he hadn't worked his way through my shield and into my heart. If he had died, I would've been sad for a day or two but I still would've gone on. And then after his so-called death at the hands of Casey, I still felt nothing."

"And somehow I was different?"

"Yes Chuck. You always were different; you were much more to me. That day when you were almost killed showed me something. It showed me that you had broken through my once impenetrable shield and I knew right then that I could never be emotionally detached with you. I realized that if anything ever happened to you, I wouldn't only be sad for a day or a year. I would be totally devastated from then on; there would be no recovery, no continuing on with life for me. The day you died would be the day I died as well." Sarah choked up but continued. "I was so frightened by that realization; that someone could mean that much to me that I couldn't live without them. So I ran from you; hoping that by distancing myself that it would lessen the pain I would feel should anything ever happen to you."

"So why come to me now? You could've easily left after I saved you. Why put us through this torture?"

"Because during the time I was away I learned that loving someone meant having to risk that feeling that kind of pain and anguish. That there was no way for me to say I love you without also accepting that you might be taken from my life. But most of all I learned that it hurt me more to be away from you."

"I hear you say that I mean something to you and that you love me but forgive me if I don't believe it."

Anger swelled up within Sarah. Her feelings for Chuck were not to be questioned, not even by him. "Out of everything, my actions should be proof that you do mean everything to me! I know my logic is skewed and my reasons for leaving were totally screwed up. But you have to see that what I did was because I love you!" Sarah took a deep breath. "Do you know what it took for me to leave you the way I did? Do you know how it felt to leave the man who made me want to be a better person? The man who brightened my dark, dismal world and made me want a life outside of the agency? A life that I never had growing up? One with a home, kids, friends, and family? The day I left, I also left all those dreams behind!"

Chuck's eyes grew wet. "What is this whole debacle about Sarah? Why did you come here tonight? Just to tell me that I meant something to you? Well did you know that you meant everything to me too? You made me want to be more than what I was. Did you know that a single smile from you changed my whole day around? That I woke up in the morning eager to see your face and at night that I fell asleep thinking of you? So how do you think it feels like when the woman you love disappears without a trace and gave no explanation, no goodbye? Or how it felt when I later discovered that she chose her jerk of an ex-boyfriend over a man who truly loved her?" Chuck and Sarah faced each other with tears in their eyes.

"I...know. I can never say I'm sorry enough and I know nothing I do now can change what has already happened. But I can change what happens with us from this point on."

"From this point on? You make it seem as if you'll be sticking around."

"I was hoping...."

"Hoping what? What do you want from me Sarah?"

She looked back at him with sad, teary eyes.

Right then Chuck knew what she wanted. His eyes grew big as saucers. "There's no way. You actually believe that you can still be part of my life after all that you did?"

"I know that what I did was awful and that even I wouldn't forgive myself. But I'm hoping that your heart is still as big as before I left; that you could find forgiveness for me. I need to right the wrongs I committed against you."

Chuck took in what she had said. Sarah wanted to reconcile with him; regain a place in his life and maybe his heart. For a moment his heart lifted at the thought of Sarah back in his life, but the events from her departure kept him from fully embracing the idea. "I'm not the man you remember Sarah. The 'Chuck' you were so fond of before is no more."

"You're wrong. He's there. I can still see him whenever I look into your eyes. You just need help finding him again."

"What and you think you can do that? What if I like who I am now?"

"Really Chuck? Do you like who you are? When you look in the mirror, is it a familiar face or a foreign one? When you hold your gun, does it feel natural or does it feel out of place? Do you feel safe in your own skin?"

Chuck knew Sarah was right; ever since that day in the Buymore he hasn't been comfortable in his own skin. It was as if he was living the life of someone else, someone more ruthless and aggressive. How could Sarah help him back when he couldn't help himself? Part of Chuck desperately wanted to allow Sarah back into his life but issues still remained unresolved between them. "Remember the beach when the intersect first got loaded into my head? What did you ask me to do then?"

"To trust me."

"So tell me how am I supposed to do that now after you left me alone in the spy world? You knew you were the only reason why I didn't go crazy from all this espionage stuff, but still you left me here all alone. I was left with no one to rely upon. So tell me, how can I trust you now?"

"Right now, you can't" conceded Sarah. "But this I promise you Chuck Bartowski, I will earn your trust. If it takes weeks, months, or even years, I will make things right with you again."

Chuck scoffed and took another gulp of his beer. By this time the room was slowly spinning and he knew he was way past drunk.

Sarah continued. "At the beach you had no choice but to trust me. This time will be different. I will earn it."

Chuck's heart softened a bit after seeing how determined Sarah was to get back into his life. He looked into Sarah's eyes shortly before they rolled up into his head and the rest of him fell onto the table.

Sarah looked at him and shook her head. Stroking his hair, Sarah said "I am so sorry for what I did Chuck; there's no way that I can express how sorry I am. But I promise you this: I will help you get back to the man I once knew and I know you can be again. I won't run away this time."

* * *

Sarah looked out on the Pacific Ocean from the deck of Chuck's home. The events of the last night went by so quickly that she didn't realize that his home sat on a cliff in La Jolla, California overlooking the sea. Bryce had long since left and she knew he wouldn't be heard from again. He had hurt his friend once at Stanford and two years ago she pulled him in to hurt him once more. She watched as early morning joggers went by on their daily exercise routine. She and Courtney had brought Chuck home after he had passed out drunk. Sarah was able to say what she needed to say but actually doing what she said was the problem. She had told Chuck that she wanted to be there for him and help him return to the man she remembered. She frowned as she wondered how she was going to make that happen.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Sarah turned around to see Courtney holding two mugs of coffee.

"Here, for you. Don't worry it isn't poisoned, although Casey says that I'm so bad at making coffee that it might as well be."

"Thanks" said Sarah with a little smile. "Listening to the waves crash and watching the sea foam up, nothing calms me more. Something I learned from Chuck."

"I see. He also stands in that same spot and looks out the same way you were doing." Courtney started fidgeting. "I wanted to apologize for last night. I didn't mean to attack you as I did and I definitely didn't mean to pry into you and Chuck's personal problems. It's just that I get overprotective of Chuck whenever I see him in pain. It's getting kind of annoying how he makes me feel like that."

Sarah smiled at the change in the demeanor of the woman so outraged the night before. "You don't need to apologize, Agent Loughlin; I wish I was able to see things as clearly as you and maybe then this whole tragedy wouldn't have happened. I deserved everything you said last night."

"Courtney."

"What?"

"Call me Courtney. Everyone here does."

"Ok Courtney."

Courtney took a sip of the coffee before continuing. "He's not the same man you knew, is he?"

"What do you mean?"

"This Chuck here," Courtney pointed to his bedroom window, "isn't the Chuck that you and Casey protected two years ago."

Sarah raised an eyebrow.

"Most of the time he's the perfect agent: emotionless, ruthlessly efficient, and quite frankly, robotic." Courtney saw sadness fill Sarah's eyes. "But there are times when we haven't had a mission in a while that I see someone different. Someone fun-loving and happy; quite different than the agent in him."

"Your right. He isn't the man I knew. The Chuck I knew was loving, friendly, loyal, kind, and caring." Sarah smiled. "I could list things all morning long. This Chuck we have now is just a shell of what he was and it was all because of me that he lost himself."

"I'm sorry about the way I told you about your replacement and what happened afterwards. It's something that has been eating away at me ever since I met Chuck. I needed to lash out at you for what you did."

"I understand."

"You know that I still have to hate you, right?"

Sarah smiled. "You wouldn't be such a good friend to Chuck if you didn't."

After the conversation with Courtney, Sarah walked back into Chuck's home and down the hallway to her room. To her surprise she saw him come out of his room, apparently just waking up from last night's stupor.

"Hey Chu...." Sarah didn't even had a chance to finish before Chuck walked past her; no greeting, no eye contact, no sign of acknowledgement of her presence. Normally this would've hurt her deeply, but she knew that getting back with Chuck wasn't going to easy. It wouldn't be solved over beer, in a single night's talk. This would take time, perhaps a long time. She smiled as she opened her phone.

"Hello Director Sloan."

"Yes ma'am, I'm alright. The team you sent was able to save Agent Larkin and myself. Thank you."

"You're right, this isn't a courtesy call. I have to call in a favor."

"I want to be permanently reassigned to Team Bartowski."

"Thank you ma'am."

* * *

_A/N: Please read and review, we writer's live on them! Thanks. _


	6. Chapter 6

1 month ASR (after Sarah returned)

Courtney watched Sarah as she listened to the feed from Chuck's microphone and anger grew inside of her; not at Sarah but at Chuck who was tormenting the poor blonde woman. They had been assigned a mission to infiltrate the home of a wealthy business man who had some ties to Fulcrum. Sarah was now a permanent member of the team but for now was relegated to sitting in the van with Courtney. Chuck decided on his own that he would seduce the business man's daughter Candace and get her to bring him into their home. Once there he would hack into his personal computer and attach a backdoor program so they could keep tabs on him.

But for the first time Courtney wasn't on Chuck's side but Sarah's; she couldn't take watching the poor woman as she listened to Chuck and Candace getting more and more friendly in her bedroom. Even worse was having to listen to Chuck go on about how his past love couldn't match to her and how she was so heartless leaving him behind, an obvious attempt to torment Sarah. She understood that Sarah had hurt Chuck but that didn't justify him going beyond mission objectives and insist that he seduce the daughter which was another obvious attempt to hurt Sarah. What angered her even more was that Chuck knew that Sarah was stuck monitoring the feeds from the microphone and that she would have to sit through the whole thing. This time she had a hard time defending the actions of the man she stood up for when Sarah first arrived.

"Sarah, I can take over monitoring the microphone if you want to take a break" said Courtney. She looked in the rear view mirror in time to catch her wiping away a tear rolling down her cheek.

"No, that's alright. Thanks anyways."

Still more anger burned inside of Courtney. She had gotten to know Sarah a little better as time went by and had to watch for the last 4 weeks as Chuck ignored her, walking around as if she wasn't there. She remembered one morning where Sarah had gone through the trouble of making breakfast for the team since they had finished a particularly grueling mission the night before. Everyone was happy to eat up except for Chuck, who walked right past Sarah and headed straight out the front door. Courtney could tell that his actions stung Sarah but still she went happily on through her day. Other times it went beyond that; Chuck sometimes wouldn't even acknowledge her existence. When they did have to interact, Chuck kept it to a minimal amount of words as possible and as mean as possible. He constantly put down her ideas and basically disregarded any of her input on any of their missions. Courtney could see the pain in Sarah's eyes every time Chuck did that to her but then watched as the blonde woman steel herself and continue to stick around. She couldn't understand why Sarah would endure such pain and torture from the one she loved.

"Is he worth it?"

Sarah looked up to the front seat of the van. "What's that?"

"Chuck. Is he worth this pain and suffering that you're enduring?"

A few moments passed and finally Sarah smiled. She answered "He's worth this and so much more. I can't express to you what I'm willing to go through for him."

"I know you hurt him but now he's just being vindictive. I mean, we both know that he didn't need to seduce that man's daughter and we both know that he didn't need to take her up to her room. Chuck knows that you have to listen to the mikes and he's purposely doing all of this just to make you hurt, you know."

"I know. But if this is what he feels that I need endure in order to make things right, then I guess I have to endure it."

"Till when? How long do you intend to tolerate this? What if he never comes around? What will you do then?"

"That might be a possibility. But one thing I learned from the old Chuck was persistence and patience." Sarah smiled as she reminisced. "When we were still asset and agent, I always had shot down his advances and every time he actually broke through, I pulled away and lashed out at him. But still he kept on pursuing me and loving me even when I did nothing to reciprocate. It was through his patience with me that he finally broke me down. Now that our roles have somewhat reversed, I can do no less for him now. So I'll continue bearing it and being nice to him until I wear him down, like he did with me."

"You know you could always find someone else. I'm sure you can find someone that would make you happy."

Sarah stared out into the distance for a few moments. "You're probably right. I can find some other guy; he'll sweep me off my feet and maybe we'll fall in love. We might get married and have little kids." Sarah smiled. "The only thing is that no matter what man comes into my life, I'll always compare him to Chuck. Does he love me as much as Chuck did? Does he make me feel as special as he made me feel?" She laughed. "For me, it'll always come down to Chuck. So you see Courtney, Chuck is the only one I can truly be happy with."

Courtney shook her head. "I don't mean to judge, but it doesn't even seem like you're actually doing anything to turn him around. Frankly all I've seen is you taking abuse from him."

"I know, but I'm not good with relationships. All I can do is just stay near him and be with him all the time, hoping that he'll turn around soon. Chuck didn't do much to win me over either; all he did is just be himself. Eventually he worked his way into my heart. I'll try to work my way into his any way I can."

Courtney gave her a half-smile. "Well, good luck Sarah. For what it's worth, I hope you succeed and rid us of this version of Chuck and get him back to the old version. Cause between you and me, I'm bout near the point of hurting him."

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for the short chapter; I'll put out the next one sooner to make up for it._


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

3 months ASR

Chuck woke up with a devastating headache. Clutching his head, he remembered what happened. He was on a mission to retrieve a disk contain Fulcrum schematics of a new intersect. Sneaking into the underground lab was easy enough; it was the escape that proved the most difficult. Somehow a Fulcrum agent spotted him and that's when everything went to hell. As a last resort, one of the enemy agents triggered the base's self destruct in order to ensure that no one made it out with their secrets. Luckily for Chuck he was able to barely make into one of the last functioning elevators and ride it out of there. But unluckily, the blast from the bomb made its way up the elevator shaft and hit him dead on. His body was thrown up in the air and his head collided with the ceiling of the elevator. Chuck struggled to remember what happened after that but he assumed that Courtney was able to pull him out and back to safety.

Chuck looked around and found himself in his room, lying in his bed. Looking at the clock on the nightstand next to him, he saw that 3 days had passed since the mission started. Shaking the cobwebs loose, he couldn't believe that he was asleep for that long. Suddenly he heard a rustle next to him on the other side of the room. Quickly looking over, he saw Sarah asleep in the chair next to him. His first reaction was of how beautiful she was but that quickly turned into annoyance as he remembered the events of the past. Throwing off the blankets on top of him, he quickly left and went into the living room.

"So how long are you going to keep this up Chuck?"

He turned to see Casey standing in the kitchen. "What do you mean? Keep what up?"

"You know what I mean. The cold shoulder, total disregard of feelings, the insults, the lack of any acknowledgement of her existence; basically Sarah's slow torture."

"You know what she did to me. Why do you have to ask?" said Chuck with anger in his voice.

"Yes I do know what she did, but do you think it's about time you let go?"

Chuck's face turned red and he shouted "What? Let go? If you know then how can you tell me that I should let go?"

"Easy. Just accept what happened and move on in life. Don't dwell on the mistakes of the past. Her's or your's."

The heat started to emanate off Chuck's head. "She runs off with Bryce and did who knows what with him. Now you tell me to accept that and move on with my life?"

"Didn't she tell you that she knew it was a mistake and that she was sorry?"

Chuck scoffed and turned away. "As if sorry is ever going to be enough."

"I know it's probably not, but at some point you're going to have to realize that it has to be."

"I don't think that point is going to come."

Casey let out a sigh. "So she made a mistake. She's not perfect." Casey pointed to Chuck with his cane. "But neither are you. We both know that you haven't been an angel these past two years either." Casey took a step towards Chuck. "Does the name Carmen Sanchez ring a bell?"

Chuck's eyes narrowed as he replied "You know that was a mission."

"It was an open mission, which meant you didn't have to seduce her; we could've done that mission so many different ways. But still you chose the seduction route. Or how about Abigail Trent? Or more recently Candace Hsu."

"Fine. You've made your point" said Chuck in a huff.

"I'm not sure I have." Casey thought for a minute and then started shaking his head. "I saw this coming."

"What, did you see her running off with Bryce?"

"No idiot, I saw that you were going to get all pouty and angry once you found out that Sarah isn't the perfect being you had been making her out to be."

"I don't understand."

"Yes you do Chuck. Back then I could see it in your eyes; you saw Sarah as this perfect existence who could do no wrong. Her decisions were always right, she always takes the proper actions, and she never makes a mistake."

"You're wrong."

"Am I? Then tell me to my face that you didn't think of her as an angel sent from heaven."

Chuck's eyes narrowed.

"But there's your mistake. We agents are flawed people to begin with or we wouldn't be able to do the stuff we are asked to do. You made the mistake of thinking that Sarah was without flaw and when she did do something wrong, it totally crushed you're view of her. You were suddenly forced to realize that Sarah isn't perfect and has errors in judgement. That was it, isn't it?"

Chuck gave no response.

"That was then. But now this isn't about Sarah hurting you anymore; it's about punishing her for what she did. Are you trying to make her feel the pain that you felt when she left with Bryce? You're trying to extract fairness in this whole thing. Eye for an eye, hurt for hurt."

"Hmmph."

"So it is. Well if its pain that you're trying to inflict upon her, then job well done. It takes a lot to break an agent down, especially one as good as Sarah. But that's exactly what you did Chuck. At night I hear cries and sobs from my bedroom wall. Sarah's cries and sobs. So if you were trying to hurt her, consider it mission accomplished. I don't think there's been a night where I haven't heard her tears fall."

Chuck's head snapped towards Casey. He didn't know she was crying every night. Though he did want some retribution for the pain she caused him, he felt sorrow that he broke her down to that point. "She's been crying?"

"Spare me Chuck. Isn't this what you were after? You wanted her to feel pain and sorrow."

"I didn't think..."

"Really? You didn't think? Could've fooled me. To me it seemed like you calculated this whole thing out just to torture the woman."

"That's not what I wanted to do. I just wanted her to feel bad as I did when I found out that she left with Bryce."

Casey shook his head. "For someone so stuck in the past, you forget all the good she's done for you. She's the main reason that you're ass isn't stuck rotting in a bunker somewhere next to Laslo. She fought tooth and nail with the brass in order to keep you outside in the sunshine and by doing so she risked her whole career within the CIA. How about the times were she put her life on the line when you didn't listen to orders and stayed in the car? Somehow in my head, you still owe her more than she owes you."

Chuck couldn't reply. He knew Casey was right; Sarah had put her career and life on the line more times than he could remember. Yet her one big mistake is all that he could focus on.

Casey shook his head. "Is this what he saved you for?"

"What?"

"Morgan. Did he save you just so that you would become this mean, heartless shell of a man? Was his sacrifice so that you could degenerate into the person you are now? Cause I could've sworn the man Morgan was best friends with did not resemble anything like the man I see before me."

Chuck was speechless. The inherent truth in Casey's words struck straight to his heart. Morgan would never have allowed him to become the man he was now. It was actually Morgan who had prevented him from getting too depressed after getting kicked out of Stanford and losing Jill. He was even his biggest supporter when it came to his fake relationship with Sarah and he was there when she had left. Chuck knew that Morgan would've been disappointed to see what he had become.

"Tell me, what would Morgan say if he saw you treating Sarah like this?"

Mumbling, Chuck answered "But she hurt me first."

"Is that the best you could come up with Chuck? She hurt you first? What are you, an elementary school student?"

Chuck looked down, ashamed of what he had done.

"Yet despite the torture you've been putting her through, Sarah still cared for you enough to sit by your bedside for these last three days while you were unconscious. Who do you think clawed through the rubble to get to you? Who do you think took care of you and your injuries?"

Still no answer from Chuck.

"Sarah didn't even eat or sleep while she was looking over of you. Courtney and I had to basically force her out of your room so that she would at least take care of herself. But no matter what we did, she always ended up in that chair next to you."

Chuck's eyes started to water. He knew what the right thing to do but he had spent so long believing that this was what Sarah deserved that he couldn't let go. "So what do you want me to do? Do you want me to forgive her just because she comes back into my life and apologizes? Forgive her just because she took care of me?"

"No, idiot." Casey emphasized the importance of his next statement by pounding his finger hard into Chuck's chest. "I want you to forgive her because you still love her."

Chuck's eyes grew wide as the words struck him. "I don't love her anymore. That was a lifetime ago."

A smirk showed up on Casey's face. "Sure it was. Don't think that you're fooling me. Maybe I should go dig up that photo album you have hidden in your dresser. You know the one you take out every night and look through?"

Chuck was shocked. He didn't know that anyone knew about that album. It contained all the pictures of him and Sarah from happier times. Pictures of them together. From a time when smiles and laughter were more prevalent. He looked through it every night to help him go to sleep. "That won't be necessary."

"I thought not. At some point Chuck, you have to figure out what's more important to you: being right or doing what's right. I can tell you from personal experience that the path you're on isn't one that ends nicely. But you have a way out; the question is if you're man enough to take it. Not many people get a second chance, let alone someone dedicated to them as Sarah is; so think carefully what you plan to do next."

Chuck was silent as he watched Casey limp into the patio. He knew what he had to do.

Not turning around, Casey shouted back "Don't even think of thanking me either. Just get to it, idiot." Before shutting the sliding door, Casey added "And if you ever make me go all 'Dr. Phil' again, I'm going to kick your ass back to Kansas, Toto."

Chuck stood there in the middle of the living room for what seemed like ages. Through his mind's eye he replayed his conversation with Casey over and over again, analyzing every word and statement made. Finally he walked back into his room and saw Sarah in the same position on the chair. It was cold and Sarah had curled up into a ball in order to conserve heat. He didn't know how he could have changed so much that he would want to hurt such a lovely and caring woman. But right then he decided to live how Morgan and Ellie had taught him to. Chuck let out a breath as he took in her beauty and grabbed the blanket from his bed. He gently placed it over Sarah and slowly started to walk back out of the room. He knew Casey was right; he had to let go of the pain from the past and start living in the here and now. Sarah had always protected him and here she was, trying to save him from himself.

Sarah slowly opened her eyes to see him walking out. "Chuck. You're awake! Are you ok?" asked Sarah. She didn't expect an answer considering he hadn't been in the mood to talk her for the past 3 months. But still she wanted to let him see that she was still concerned for him.

Chuck turned around to face Sarah and replied "I'm fine. Thank you for taking care of me."

Sarah's eyes were as wide as saucers. She didn't expect an answer, let alone gratitude from Chuck. Yet just those few words made it all that she endured worthwhile. "It...it was nothing Chuck. I'm glad that you feel better. I was worried for a while."

"I'm feeling better thanks to you." Chuck started to walk out the door but put a hand up to stop himself at the frame. Taking a few moments to collect himself, he said "I'm sorry Sarah. I shouldn't have treated you as badly as I have for these past few months."

Shocked couldn't describe what Sarah felt. She hadn't anticipated hearing this from Chuck. It was as if time had stood still and she and Chuck were the only people in the world. Looking into his eyes, she saw some of the old Chuck that she had longed to see; gone was the anger and resentment. "It's alright. I deserved it for what I did to you."

Shaking his head, Chuck replied "No, you didn't. You didn't deserve that and I'm the wrong person to judge you. I know you're trying to help me. I'm sorry." Fighting back tears Chuck added "It'll take some time, but I think I remember who Chuck Bartowski really was and how important you were to him. Don't give up on me yet."

With that, Sarah watched Chuck slowly walk out of the room. She couldn't contain the tears any longer and for the first time the tears that fell weren't filled with sorrow but with happiness. She found herself crying and smiling; filled with hope that Chuck was going to be ok and that they were finally progressing forward. She looked up at the door and saw Courtney standing there watching her cry. With a little nod of her head and a smile, Courtney acknowledged the major step between her and Chuck.

Sarah pulled up the blanket Chuck had placed on her up to her chin. For the first time a long time she was able to fall asleep happy.

* * *

_A/N: Things are finally looking up for Sarah, eh? Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed; it really helps motivate us fanfic writers on._


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Sorry it took so long but here's the next chapter of the story._

* * *

6 months ASR

Chuck looked out to the Pacific Ocean. He had gotten into the habit of waking early to watch the ocean waves and feel the cool breeze on his face. Before he would let his mind go blank to help clear it of the images that filled it from his missions but nowadays he spent this time thinking about he and Sarah. Chuck smiled; he couldn't remember the last time he had good thoughts concerning Sarah but now she was a permanent fixture in his mind.

It has been a few months since Casey helped him finally realized that there were going to be no winners if he continued down the path he was heading. He started down the road of reconciliation with Sarah, although it proved to be quite bumpy and filled with many potholes. Some nights ended with screaming matches between the two of them while on other nights the silence threatened to drown the both of them.

Most of the battles started with Sarah's decision to leave with Bryce; Chuck was trying hard to forgive her for that but 2 years worth of anger had a hard time dissipating from just a few talks. But she knew what Chuck wanted and needed wasn't an explanation from her but reassurance that she wouldn't leave him again if they did grow closer. Sarah did what she could to let him know she wasn't ever going to leave his side and hoped that he would eventually trust her again.

For his part, Chuck was surprised to find Sarah fighting so hard for what they had together, realizing it was quite the change from the woman he remembered who wouldn't and couldn't acknowledge the growing attraction between them. Sarah was now the one openly discussing her feelings and he was the one who had to work on breaking down walls he put up. Eventually they worked through many issues, thanks to Sarah's stubbornness and unwillingness to quit and let things fester.

Since then he and Sarah had started to grow closer again, although he wasn't willing to go farther than friends for the moment. Something inside of him couldn't quite commit to make the next right step in his life. He started to wonder about that when a familiar voice broke him out of his meditation.

"Hey, you're in my spot" said Sarah.

Chuck smiled. "Since when was it your spot. I could've sworn I own this place."

"Uh-uh. CIA owns this place; you're name is just on the deed."

"Details, details."

After a quick chuckle, both Sarah and Chuck settled down and watched the ocean.

"I'm glad you came back, Sarah. I've forgotten how nice it was to have you by my side."

Sarah was a little startled at the admission; they were friends but he had yet to verbalize his feelings. "I'm glad too, Chuck."

"Plus you saved me from getting my ass kicked by Casey."

Laughing, Sarah replied "So that was the catalyst. I was wondering what motivated you."

"Despite his leg, Casey is still one scary guy."

A silence fell between the two and they both went back to watching the ocean.

After a few minutes, Sarah spoke up. "Hey Chuck, there's something I want to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I love you." Sarah was noticeably uncomfortable from the sudden expression of emotion but forged on. "I've loved you since our first date. I want you to know that before anything happens and I miss the chance."

Chuck saw the look on her face and quickly turned to stare at the beach. Nervously he answered "I...can't. Not yet, Sarah. I'm sor..."

Sarah interrupted "Don't worry Chuck. I didn't say it in order to hear it back. I learned my lesson from before when I held back but now I wanted to let you know how I felt. You'll know when it's time for a reply."

"Thanks Sarah." Chuck looked down into Sarah's eyes and could tell that something else was on her mind. "Ok, ask" said Chuck.

"What?"

"Ask your question."

"How do you know I had a question?"

"Cause you get all antsy and start playing with your fingers whenever you want to ask me something deep."

Sarah looked down and saw that she was playing with her hands. It was a nervous habit from when she was a kid. "It's a personal question. It's alright if you don't want to talk about it."

"I'll try."

Taking a deep breath, Sarah asked "Why don't you blame me for Morgan?"

Chuck sighed and looked back out at the sea. He knew this question would come up some time; he and Sarah had been having intense conversations covering topics like these for the last 3 months. He knew it was necessary but it still didn't dampen the pain of the talk. "Because it wasn't your fault."

Sarah knew to tread lightly; despite their friendliness now, there were still moments of anger that stemmed from topics like this. "We both know that it was indirectly my fault. If I haven't had left, then the Fulcrum agent wouldn't have been assigned to replace me."

"I know that. But still it wasn't your fault."

"Whose fault was it then?"

"It was mine."

Sarah quickly turned her head to look at Chuck. It was an answer she didn't expect to hear. "I'm confused Chuck, why do you think that?"

"Simple. Morgan died because of my selfishness, because of my desperate need to remain with my friends and family. By clinging onto them, I also exposed them to dangerous situations and people. I didn't learn my lesson the first time when Ellie was poisoned or when the Fulcrum agent placed bugs all over the Buymore. If I did care about them then I would've insisted that I be given a cover somewhere else or maybe as a last resort, be put in the bunker."

"You can't feel guilty just because you wanted to hold onto your life. No one can fault you for wanting to be near your family and friends, especially during trying times."

"True but if I did truly love them, then I would've sacrificed my time with them in order to keep them safe. It's what I should've done."

"I can't speak for him, but I'm sure that Morgan would've gladly given his life if it meant that you weren't in a bunker. You know that you meant that much to him. As for Ellie and Devon, we both know that they would face any danger just to know that you were safe."

"The thing is that they shouldn't have to be in any danger."

"So you moved away in order to protect them."

"It was the only solution I could see at the time."

Sarah stared out into the horizon. She hadn't realized that Chuck was carrying this much guilt over what happened 3 years ago. "You know you could always go back to them now. You're an agent; I'm sure you can keep them safe. You're in a better position to protect them from our world now than you were then."

"But will they want to see who I've become?"

"If I know Ellie, she'll love you even if you grew an extra arm and had some contagious disease. Devon would think it's awesome."

Chuck laughed.

"You know they had a son right?"

"Yeah" answered Chuck.

"They named him Charles after his uncle."

Shaking his head, Chuck said "Ellie and Devon. Who knew they were such masochists."

Sarah chuckled. "Why not start small Chuck? A letter would be a good way to get back in touch."

"I don't know. I don't know what I would say."

"Just start with 'hello' and see what happens afterwards." Sarah gave him a big smile and she could tell that Chuck felt comforted.

After a few moments of watching the waves Chuck asked "So lunch?"

"Not today Chuck. I have...a personal appointment to keep. I'll meet you here for dinner. Ok?"

Chuck nodded and watched her as she went back inside the house.

* * *

As Chuck sat in his home alone, his CIA trained mind went into overdrive. Agents, by training, were slightly paranoid which served them well during missions since they were correct half of the time. But it's during downtime where this training turns against them; slight changes in vocal tones, alterations in mannerisms, and suspicious activity of loved ones still all get analyzed. Despite trusting the other person, agents succumb to their paranoia and, more often than not, hurt those around them trying to help. Chuck was not immune.

Chuck knew Sarah never had appointments to keep; she was always by his side for these last several months. He started to wonder what she was doing, where she was going. A tiny thought was born in his head; was she meeting another guy on the side? They weren't a couple so technically they were free to see other people. Chuck thought about who she could be seeing since she was always around and didn't have time to socialize with anyone outside.

Then it hit him: she was meeting up with Bryce. Chuck ground his teeth as he realized that they probably never stopped seeing each other; Sarah lied about their relationship being done. Still he didn't know why she would lie but still it made sense to him. He decided that he would follow her today and surprise them at their rendezvous.

* * *

Chuck kept a good distance away from the black Porsche he was following; this wasn't some random civilian he was tailing, it was a trained agent. He knew that Sarah would be on guard for any suspicious activity, so he tried to be extra careful. He followed her first to the florist where he saw her buy a bouquet of flowers and he instantly thought bad of Bryce for making her bring the flowers. He was now following her north up the coast but was so filled with jealous and anger that he hadn't realized where he was until he parked the car and got out.

Chuck looked up and saw the sign: Pacific Crest Cemetery. For Chuck, it was better known as Morgan's resting place. That's when it struck him; he quickly glanced at his watch and realized that today was the anniversary of his best friend's death.

After Morgan was laid to rest, Chuck never was able to muster up the courage to visit his grave for the last 3 years. Now Chuck realized what Sarah's appointment was. It was to pay respects to Morgan. Feeling guilty, he walked up the hill to Morgan's resting spot still trying to stay out of Sarah's view.

Chuck settled in behind a tree, behind Sarah. She had knelt down facing the tombstone. Regret filled Chuck's mind; this woman had endured his torture in order to help him and he repaid her by instantly thinking the worst of her. He looked up to see Sarah talking to Morgan. At first she barely could speak through her tears but then she started smiling and laughing. Chuck had thought of using the microphone he had in order to catch her conversation but ultimately decided it was best to leave her to her privacy.

Half an hour later, Sarah stood up and placed her hand on top of Morgan's tombstone. Closing her eyes for a moment, Chuck watched her say her goodbyes and walk back down the hill to her car. He waited a few moments until he was sure she was out of view and made his way to his friend's grave.

Standing at the foot of the grave, Chuck read the tombstone to himself: Morgan Grimes: Loving Son, Faithful Friend. Tears threatened to fall down his cheeks as he sat down where Sarah had just been.

"Hey there Morgan. It's been a while buddy. I'm sorry I haven't been by to visit; you can say that I haven't been myself lately." Chuck smiled. "But I think it's about time we talked...."

Sarah sat in her Porsche a safe distance away. A smile grew on her face as she watched on as Chuck talked to his friend. Satisfied with how things went, Sarah drove off back home.

* * *

Hours later Chuck walked into his home to find Sarah drinking tea with Courtney, who was digging into a plate of spaghetti and was holding onto a breadstick. Casey was in the living room watching some war re-enactment on the history channel. Chuck walked up to table and stood in front of Sarah.

"Uh, Sarah. Are you...umm, busy tomorrow?" stuttered Chuck.

"No, I'm free. Why?"

"I was wondering...if you'd like to catch a concert with me...or something...and maybe have dinner afterwards."

Sarah's eyes grew to the size of saucers; once again Chuck had caught her completely by surprise. Sarah smiled as she saw the old, shy Chuck coming back to the surface. Courtney was taken aback too; she and Sarah had grown close and was pulling for her friend to win back Chuck's affection.

Sarah asked "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"I'd...I'd like that Chuck."

"Great. We'll go at 4? Don't worry about directions, I know where you live."

Laughing, Sarah answered "Sure. I'm looking forward to it."

Chuck, with a big smile on his face, walked out of the kitchen on the way to his room. Courtney was still in shock and the breadstick which she had just bitten was still hanging loosely out of her mouth.

Before Chuck could leave, Casey asked "So what changed Chuck?"

Sarah and Courtney's heads snapped to look at Chuck, eagerly awaiting the answer.

Chuck thought for a second. "I had a talk with an old friend. He cleared things up for me like he always did."

Sarah knew who this old friend was. She smiled at the thought of Chuck finally moving on.

Casey replied "Good, good. What are you off to do now?"

Chuck smiled. "I need to write a letter; I've been out of contact with someone important for far too long."

* * *

_A/N: Things are looking much better for Charah. I think there's only one chapter left for this story. Thanks for reading._


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Thanks everyone for reading my story! I know I said I would take a short hiatus, but it seemed it turned into a long one. Finally, here's the last chapter of the story._

* * *

_10 months ASR_

Chuck and Sarah stared out at the Pacific Ocean. As was their habit nowadays, early mornings were spent watching the waves roll into shore. Good thoughts filled both their minds, which was quite the accomplishment considering where they had started.

It's been several months since Sarah's return back into his life and although it had started out rough, they were now dating and living together. Just like most couples the first several dates were quite awkward and unnerving considering despite all the time they had spent together in the past, Sarah had kept her personal information away from Chuck. But now without any boundaries or limitations Sarah freely shared stories about her family and friends and about the decisions she made in her life that lead her straight to where she was now.

At first, Chuck couldn't believe how Sarah was being so open with him; before the incident at the Buymore he had dreamed of what it would be like if he and Sarah were truly honest with each other. Now that she was, Chuck found it hard to hold back the torrent of questions that he had stored up. Where was she born; does she have a big family; does she have any siblings; what drove her to the CIA; questions which Sarah gladly answered.

Chuck was never happier; although the road that led them to this point in their lives was quite twisty and torturous, he knew that there was no changing the past and the only thing left was to look forward. Chuck's face saddened at the thought of their future due to recent revelations concerning their battle against Fulcrum. If the path behind them was bad, the one that lay before them was ten times worse. Although he knew that Sarah would gladly follow him into hell and back, Chuck needed to ask her one simple question before they set out.

"Sarah" said Chuck as he turned his head to face her.

"Hmm? Something on your mind Chuck?" asked Sarah with a smile.

"Yeah, you. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it before but I've always loved you."

Tears formed in Sarah's eyes which glistened in the morning sun. "I love you too Chuck. I don't care about how long it took; I'm glad to hear you say it."

Chuck started fiddling around with his pocket. "That wasn't the only thing on my mind."

"Go ahead."

Taking out a blue velvet box from his pocket, Chuck turned to Sarah and opened it up. "Sarah Walker, will you marry me?"

Sarah was in complete shock; she knew that this is where most good relationships would end up but she never figured that it would happen to her. She looked down at the diamond engagement ring then back into Chuck's eyes and back down to the ring; Chuck could've sworn she was stuck in a feedback loop. Her pattern was finally broken when a familiar female voice was heard shouting through the patio window.

"TELL HIM YES ALREADY!" screamed Courtney.

Sarah and Chuck turned around just in time to see Casey with his left hand over the mouth of the struggling brunette and his right hand waving apologetically to them.

Sarah smiled and faced Chuck. "Well you heard her; of course I'll marry you."

"You just made me the happiest man" said Chuck as he pulled Sarah in for a hug.

"And you made me the happiest woman."

As their hug lingered on, Chuck's smile faded slightly. "You do know what this means right? With what we just learned about Fulcrum? It's not going to be easy from now on and we have some hard decisions to make."

"I know but where you go, I go. I made that decision a long time ago. You're not getting rid of me now."

"I'm glad. Let's get started then."

* * *

Chuck sat in front of Morgan's grave just as he has been accustomed to doing for the last year. He found solace in talking to his fallen friend and after particularly hard missions, he always found himself there. But this time would be different; Chuck wasn't here only to talk to Morgan. There was someone else who he needed to apologize and explain things to.

As Chuck sat there, a dark haired Asian woman walked up behind him. "Are you a friend of Morgan's?"

Chuck looked up and smiled to Anna Woo, Morgan's girlfriend. "You could say that."

"Chuck? Is that you? I haven't seen you since Morgan's funeral." She quickly knelt to the ground and gave him a hug. "It's been so long Chuckles. I've missed you."

"Same here Anna. I'm sorry I didn't see you before; I've had a lot of things to work out."

"It's ok. I'm happy to see that you're ok."

"Thanks. But this isn't the only reason why I'm here. I have some things to explain to you about the past and what's going to happen in the future."

"Cryptic. I'm all ears."

Chuck smiled. "It all started when I received this email..."

* * *

Sarah and Chuck stood in the familiar courtyard which lead to the apartment of the Woodcombes. They had just come from the county courthouse where they just had their civil marriage. Nothing fancy; just both of them and the judge as their witness. They figured that once they overcome the upcoming obstacles, then they would have the large dream wedding. Hand in hand, they looked around the area and remembered the better times they had together there.

Sarah looked up and saw the worried look evident on Chuck's face. Giving his hand a little squeeze Sarah reassured him, "It's only Ellie. You don't have to worry so much."

"It's because it's Ellie that I'm worried."

"You've been writing to her for several months now Chuck; she just wants you back in her life."

"I know but somehow I have this feeling that I don't deserve to come back here and back into Ellie and Devon's lives. What if what I tell her horrifies so much that she doesn't want me back here?"

"Please Chuck, this is Ellie. I doubt there's anything you could do to make her love you less."

"I guess not. We're about to see, aren't we?"

With a little smile, Sarah pulled Chuck across the familiar courtyard, past the fountain, and right up to Ellie's door. She quickly knocked on the door just in case Chuck decided to make a run for it. "Remember Chuck, she's your sister and despite what you think, you're back to the lovable nerd that I once knew."

Chuck smiled and gave Sarah a quick peck on the cheek. As he did, the front door opened up and there stood a long haired, brunette woman. Chuck quickly turned to face her but didn't know what to do. For several seconds he just stood there, face to face with his beloved sister Ellie. But just as the silence was about to become deafening, the elder Bartowski jumped up in and into her brother's arms.

"Chuck! I can't believe it's you! Well I can...we've been writing letters and stuff...but I can't believe your here!" exclaimed Ellie. Looking behind Chuck, she also caught sight of a familiar face. "Sarah? Oh my gosh!"

Chuck was almost bowled over as his sister jumped through him in order to hug Sarah. He straightened himself out and smiled as he watched his sister hugging his fiancée.

"I'm so glad to see you as well Sarah!"

Sarah couldn't help but join in the happy scene. "I'm glad to be seen. It's been a while."

"I know. Too long." Looking back and forth between the couple, Ellie finally asked them in. "I'm sorry; where are my manners? Come in. I have someone to introduce to you."

Running around the corner, Chuck caught sight a giggling child. He ran straight up to Ellie and jumped into her arms.

"There you are my little man. Charlie, there are some special people who I want you to meet." Ellie started with the man to her right. "This is your Uncle Chuck. He's the one we named you after."

Chuck smiled to his little namesake. "Hey there Charlie. It's great to finally meet you."

Charlie gave Chuck an appraising look before finally break out into a big smile. "Hi Uncle Chuck!"

Ellie then turned to the blond on the left. "And this is your Aunt Sarah."

Charlie reached over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Hello Auntie Sarah."

Sarah smiled at Charlie; she couldn't help but see that the little child had inherited the Bartowski smile. "Hello Charlie. Aren't you the handsome little guy?"

Little Charlie blushed and tucked his head into his mother's shoulder. A muffled thank you was barely heard.

Sarah looked up to Ellie. "He's gorgeous Ellie; you and Devon must be proud."

Just as Sarah mentioned the name, Devon rounded the corner and put Chuck into a bear hug. "Chuck! You're back! Awesome!"

Sarah watched as he picked Chuck up and continued with the hug. She smiled, knowing that that was probably the first time in years that Chuck had been manhandled like that. "Hey Devon."

"Sarah too! This is great."

The blond agent shrank a bit as Devon approached but was surprised when he gave her a kiss on the cheek and a reserved hug.

Ellie sat down onto the sofa and motioned for everyone else to take a seat. "There's so much to talk about."

It was that point that Chuck knew what he had to do next. He had to come clean with Ellie concerning his life for the past few years; from the moment he opened the email from Bryce to the events which lead to him showing up to her door. "Uh, Ellie. I think you and I should talk."

Sarah knew what was going to happen next; Chuck needed to open himself to his sister. "Hey there Charlie, do you want to play with me outside in the courtyard? Maybe you dad could join us too. How does that sound?"

A big smile formed on the face of the little Woodcombe and he looked up to his dad for permission.

"Sure little guy. Let's go outside and let your mom and uncle talk."

Sarah walked outside and took a seat on the edge of the fountain. Little Charlie ran up and took his place next to her. "You like sitting here too?"

Charlie nodded.

"Your Uncle Chuck and I spent a lot of time talking out here."

Devon walked over and stood in front of Sarah. "Any idea of what they're talking about?"

Sarah's smile left her face. "I know exactly what they're talking about. I guess I should be the one to tell you too." Sarah took a deep breath in before starting. "It all began when my ex-boyfriend Bryce Larkin sent an email to his best friend from college...."

Several minutes later Sarah had finished telling Devon the details of the last few years of her and Chuck's life. Devon stood there in front of her, with a confused look which Sarah guessed that Ellie was sporting as well. "Are you ok Devon?"

"Yeah...uh...sorry. That was just a lot to take in. So Chuck's been a spy? He's not loser working in the Buymore?"

Sarah smirked. "Well loser is kind of strong..."

"Awesome!"

"Excuse me Devon?"

"I knew Chuck had more than just the Buymore in him; it always felt like he was destined for something more."

"He is." Sarah looked down at her hands as she twiddled her thumbs. "You must hate me" sniffled Sarah.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I've been lying to you and Ellie this whole time. You were placed in a dangerous situation and didn't even know it."

"I don't hate you. You had to do what you thought was best. We doctors do that all the time. We routinely make decisions about patients which in the short term might seem against the patient's best interest but is better in the long run."

"Thanks Devon. But I'm sure Ellie will hate me. Especially for what I did to Chuck over and over again. She spent her life protecting Chuck and all I've done is hurt him."

Just as Sarah finished her sentence, the front door swung open. A red eyed Ellie was standing at the door looking straight at her. Sarah knew what was going to happen next: Ellie will tell her what an awful woman she was and how she doesn't deserve Chuck; how she constantly made the wrong decisions and eventually caused the death of Morgan. Sarah decided that she wouldn't refute any of it. She wanted to take responsibility for her actions and would take any punishment the elder Bartowski deemed necessary.

Sarah watched as Ellie rushed out of the apartment and straight to where she was now standing. Closing her eyes, she waited for the slap across the face that she knew was coming and that she rightfully deserved. She stood there with her eyes closed and listened as the click of Ellie's heels got closer to her. Just as Ellie reached her, Sarah felt the warm embrace from the woman instead of the stinging slap.

"You poor woman; I never knew what you had to go through. I can't even fathom the things you had to endure and do for us. Thank you so much Sarah. Thank you for bringing Chuck back."

Sarah couldn't believe her ears, Ellie wasn't angry at all. Despite all the wrongs she committed against Chuck, Ellie still found it within herself to thank her. It was then that the dam broke and tears flowed down Sarah's cheek. She reached around and tightly gripped the elder Bartowski while leaning her head down into her shoulder. All the emotions that she held during her time with the agency within came pouring out. She sobbed uncontrollably into Ellie's arms.

Devon and Charlie walked quietly back into the apartment to give the two women some time alone. Inside, Charlie looked up to see his Uncle Chuck, smiling at the scene taking place in the courtyard.

"It's ok Sarah. Let it out. We're here for you."

"How can you forgive me?" asked Sarah who barely managed to get the words out.

"Easy. I know you wanted to protect Chuck; how can I fault you for something I tried to do as well?"

"But things went so wrong..."

"I know it did. But it's ok. It's in the past now. What's important is that you and Chuck are here together."

Sarah cried for a few more minutes with Ellie before she get herself back together.

"Are you ok now?" asked Ellie.

Sarah nodded.

"I just want you to know that I'll be here to support you whenever you need it. Us sisters have to stick together." Giving Sarah a little wink, Ellie turned towards the front door. "Well let's get inside. I'm anxious to finally have dinner with my whole family. You don't know how long I've waited for you guys to come back into our lives."

Sarah frowned after hearing Ellie's enthusiasm for their return. If she only knew that it wouldn't be a permanent one.

* * *

The next two days were spent talking and enjoying the company. Chuck and Sarah were finally relieved to be able to talk openly to Ellie and Devon about their lives. But Chuck knew that this was temporary; more had to be done and only he and Sarah could accomplish it.

"Ellie? How bout we all take a walk to the park? There are some things Sarah and I need to talk to you guys about."

"Sure Chuck."

Taking a seat at one of the park's benches, Chuck watched as Devon and Sarah played with little Charlie. Chuck's mood dimmed as his sister walked over.

"So what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Well Ellie, it's about Sarah and my return" started Chuck. "It's not permanent."

"What? What do you mean Chuck? Are you leaving again?" asked Ellie desperately.

"Yes."

"But why? Both of you have been gone for so long and now that you're finally back, you have to leave again?"

"I know Ellie. It's really unfair but our war with Fulcrum is still ongoing." Chuck shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "In order to finish what we started, Sarah and I will need to go deep undercover. We'll need to shed our identities and all our ties; we basically have to disappear. It's only that way that we can finally put an end to this nightmare."

Ellie looked deep into her brother's eyes and knew that wasn't all. "There's more isn't there?" She stared deep into her brother's eyes and knew what was churning in his head. "You don't think that you're coming back, do you?"

Chuck stared at the grass in front of him. "I won't lie Ellie, there's a good chance neither of us will make it through."

"But why you guys? Can't they send someone else? Isn't there a special team they can send in to take care of it?"

"Yes there is Ellie, Sarah and I are that special team. There is no one else with better knowledge about the enemy. It has to be us."

Ellie started to cry. "It's not fair Chuck. To have you and Sarah back after so long, only to be gone again with the possibility of never coming back?"

"I know and I'm sorry. I thought it would only be right for me and Sarah to explain everything before we left. We didn't want to leave you guys behind not knowing what happened."

"I guess I understand. So there will be no way to contact you, no way for you to tell us if everything is ok?"

"No. We will be going in deep. There will be no outside communications; no contact with people we know." Chuck saw the worry growing on his sister's already wet face. "But don't worry; we're not leaving you guys behind without protection." Chuck looked up and waved to a man and woman talking amongst the trees that lined the park. By this time, curiosity got the better of him and Devon joined in the group. Sarah walked over and held Chuck's hand.

As they both got closer, Ellie could see a familiar face.

"Ellie and Devon, you remember John Casey right?"

"John, nice to see you again my man!" Devon gave him a firm handshake.

"Hello John."

Casey smiled. "Hello Mr. Woodcombe, Mrs. Woodcombe."

Ellie's face scrunched up. "Ok John, you're going to quit that right now. Chuck told us what you did for him and that means you drop all that formality."

"I understand, ma....err...Ellie."

"Good."

Chuck laughed at how Casey was taken aback by Ellie. He turned toward the brunette standing next to Casey. "And this is Courtney McLoughlin." Chuck leaned in and cupped his hand towards his sister's ear. "Don't be fooled by her sweet smile, she can be mean at times."

"I heard that!" Courtney hit Chuck in the arm before turning to his sister. "It's great to meet the nicer of the Bartowski siblings."

Ellie smiled at the exchange between the two. "I have the feeling we're going to get along fine."

Chuck continued. "Casey and Courtney have agreed to be your bodyguards while we're away; just in case anything happens." He once again turned to Ellie. "It's time."

"What? Already? Can't you stay for a little longer?" pleaded Ellie.

"I wish Sarah and I could, but things are moving quickly. We need to get started sooner than later."

Sarah walked over to Ellie and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry Ellie. But I promise to take care of him."

"I want you to take care of yourself too. I want both my sister-in-law and brother coming home to us."

"I promise, we'll try." Sarah gave a wave goodbye to Charlie and Devon and started towards their car when a hand grasped hers and spun her around.

"Don't think you're leaving without saying goodbye to us" scolded Courtney.

"Of course, I'll miss you Courtney. You too John." Sarah smiled as she heard him grunt.

Chuck extracted himself from his sister's grasp and started to walk out of the park as well.

"Hey idiot!" shouted Casey. He watched as Chuck turned around. "Do us proud!"

With a smile and quick nod, Chuck shouted back "Enjoy your gift Casey!"

Casey looked over to Courtney to see if she knew what he was talking about. Seeing that she had no clue either, he knew Chuck had something planned.

Devon and Ellie walked closer to Courtney and Casey and all four of them stood there in silence as they watched the couple leave. Devon broke the silence.

"Are they going to be ok?"

Casey replied "Chuck and Sarah are the best agents our government has. Besides, they have one big thing going for them."

"What's that?" asked Ellie.

"They have each other." Casey paused and took a breath. "And now that they're finally together, I doubt either of them will let anything tear them apart."

All four slowly nodded their heads, acknowledging the truth in what Casey had just said.

* * *

_Two years later._

Ellie sat on the park bench and watched as her first son Charlie play football with John, who was also there with his gift from Chuck. Her youngest child, Morgan, had just turned one year old a few months ago and was being held by Courtney while Devon prepared his bottle. Ellie saddened at the thought that Chuck and Sarah weren't there for his birth, but she knew he would've been happy to know that they were naming their second son after his best friend Morgan. Masochists, he would've call her and Devon.

Ellie looked around and remembered the last time she had seen her brother Chuck and her sister-in-law Sarah. It was in this very park where she found out that they were heading back out on a dangerous mission. Chuck had then informed her that John and Courtney were going to be their bodyguards while they were gone which, at first, was a cause for a little apprehension within the Woodcombe household. But now Ellie couldn't imagine life without both of them in their lives. It was through their help that Ellie and Devon didn't fall into a rut of worrying about Chuck and Sarah. They both constantly reassured them that Chuck and Sarah were a force to be reckoned with and that no one else out there was better. That was when Ellie and Devon realized that John and Courtney had become more to them; after the first few weeks the term bodyguards was never again mentioned. They were nothing less than family. But one thing kept Ellie from being truly happy; she could see in their eyes that even they knew that that odds were against Sarah and Chuck coming out intact. That was when she figured that all their efforts to comfort her and Devon was also a way to comfort themselves. Ellie smiled as she remembered the last two years.

* * *

Casey learned what Chuck's gift was a couple weeks after they left. One Saturday morning he heard a knock on his door. He slowly walked over to open it, thinking it was one of the Woodcombes bringing over some of his favorite cookies. He laughed at the thought that it was Ellie's cooking and not some bad guys that would finally do him in. He hadn't had cooking that good since he left home and went to college. As he opened the door the smile on his face disappeared as his jaw dropped. Standing in front of him was a tall brunette woman who he thought he wouldn't ever see again.

"Ilsa?" gasped Casey. There stood the love of his life, Ilsa Trinchina. After believing for many years that she had been killed in an explosion, she momentarily popped back into his life when their missions crossed. But after being exposed as a spy, she went back into hiding and away from him.

"Hello sugarbear. Still handsome as ever I see" greeted Ilsa.

"When? How? What are you doing here Ilsa?"

"To take care of you, of course."

"What do you mean?"

"Our mutual friend Chuck Bartowski set it up between our two governments. I am here as part of an exchange program between the NSA and DCRI. In order to further better communications between our two countries."

"Seriously?"

"No John, I'm here to be with you. Chuck and Sarah just set it up that way to make it look official."

Casey was speechless. "Why...why would they do that?"

"I asked them that too. They said that they owed you so much for all that you did for them. Chuck said that it was you that helped him through the training he received. Sarah said that she wouldn't have had the nerve to confront Chuck like she did if you didn't kick her in the butt. They owe everything to you and they felt it was time that they paid you back for your friendship. So they got you me."

Casey quickly turned away to prevent Ilsa from seeing the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"Are you ok sugarbear?" asked Ilsa, who knew how touched Casey was. She smiled as he tried to hide his emotions. "Don't tell me you've gotten soft."

"No of course not. Damned allergies has my eyes all watery. Give me a second."

Ilsa crossed her arms in front of her. "Are you going to keep me out here all day?"

Casey turned back towards her and smiled. "Of course not. Come in, come in."

* * *

Not to be outdone by Casey, Courtney also followed suit and found a love interest as well. Seeing her friend single was never a good thing in Ellie's mind so she set out in finding someone suitable for Courtney. It wasn't long after the search started that Ellie declared herself master matchmaker after finding that Courtney was deep in love with her first introduction, Mark.

Courtney obviously learned some tough lessons from Chuck and Sarah and didn't allow her job to stand in the way of love. Luckily for her, she was permanently stationed in Los Angeles and wouldn't be transferred anywhere else which made dating much easier. Devon remarked to Ellie that Courtney was so happy that she didn't even notice the eye-rolling from Casey whenever she and Mark walked by hand in hand.

Ellie found her one evening sitting alone on the edge of the fountain in their courtyard. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Hmm?" Courtney looked up and smiled at the elder Bartowski. "I was just thinking about Chuck and Sarah and if the feeling I feel right now for Mark is the same that they felt for each other."

Ellie took a seat next to her. "Would you do anything for Mark?"

"Yeah, there's nothing I wouldn't do for him."

"How would you feel if someone took him away?"

"I don't know if I could go on."

"Well then, I'm pretty sure that what you feel is the same feeling Chuck and Sarah have for each other."

Courtney smiled. She figured that there was something in the Bartowski genes that made it impossible for them to be anything other than friendly and loving. "Do you think about them a lot?"

"Who? Chuck and Sarah?"

"Yeah."

"Every night. The day after they left Charlie asked if we could pray for them. We haven't missed a night yet. And you?"

"Same. Sarah was like my caring sister and Chuck was like my obnoxious older brother."

Ellie laughed as she replied "Sounds bout right to me."

"Do you still worry about them?"

"Not as much as before. Nowadays I mainly think about how it'll be once they're back."

"Me too."

Ellie watched the water flow out of the fountain. Truthfully she feared that something had happened to both Chuck and Sarah. Although they didn't say how long they were going to be gone; she felt like it was too long of a time to be out of touch with family. Casey and Courtney had been reassuring them that Chuck and Sarah were fine but still a seed of doubt was born within her. Ellie kept up the brave facade for those around her but inside she was the most worried of all.

* * *

Ellie broke out of her trance as Charlie ran up to her holding two teddy bears. "Where did you get those, sweetie?"

Charlie smiled. "A man and a woman gave them to me. They said this one is for Morgan."

"What did I tell you about talking to strangers, let alone taking something from them?"

"But these weren't strangers mommy. I think I remember them from somewhere."

Ellie started to worry that someone might be after her kids. She looked out into the distance and saw a man and woman silhouetted against the setting sun. Ellie panicked and looked for Casey and Courtney but they had their hands full and weren't looking in her direction. She struggled to see their faces and brought her hand up to block the sun. The only thing she could determine was that they were walking towards her. "Excuse me, do I know you?" she asked.

A familiar voice replied back. "I hope so."

Ellie stood up instantly. She knew that voice. "Chuck?"

Stepping a bit closer Chuck smiled. "Hello sis."

"Oh my gosh! You're back! Sarah! You're back!" yelled Ellie as she jumped forward and pulled the two of them into a hug.

Casey, Ilsa, Devon, and Courtney were alerted by the high pitch scream coming from Ellie and quickly rushed over to see what was going on. They all slowed down as they each realized who the couple was that was standing with Ellie.

Chuck saw the four of them freeze in their tracks. "What's wrong? You guys look like you've seen a ghost."

Casey smiled. "No just an annoying nerd. Just when it was getting peaceful around here too."

"Ouch Casey. Did I fight all those guys just to come back to that?" joked Chuck who had walked over to Casey.

"Good to see you Bartowski." Casey extended his hand out which Chuck bypassed and instead drew him into a hug. "Ok, you defeat a whole bunch of baddies only to come back here and give guys hugs?"

Chuck laughed. "I have to say that I did miss your humor."

"You just make it too easy for me." Casey gripped his hand in a firm handshake. "So what does this mean about your mission?"

"Fulcrum is effectively no more" said Chuck with a smirk. "We were able to take down the leadership and now the CIA can easily take down the lesser players."

Casey nodded. "Couldn't have done it better myself. Thanks for the gift by the way." Casey reached out and gripped Ilsa's hand and pulled her over into his embrace.

"Hello Ilsa, good to see you again. How has our boy been doing?"

"He's been a good boy, most of the time..."

Chuck shook his head at the innuendo. "Ok too much info." He quickly turned to his right when he heard his named called.

"Chuck!" shouted Courtney.

"Hey there Courtney. My family hasn't totally made you crazy yet I hope."

"Are you kidding? I love Ellie and Devon! You nephew's are so cute." Courtney turned and saw Sarah coming over with both boys in her arms. "Sarah. I've missed you!"

"You too Courtney." Turning to Chuck, "Hey you, I think you have some guys here who want to meet their uncle. Say hello to your Uncle Chuck. Chuck you remember Charlie and this little guy is Morgan."

They all smiled as Charlie used Morgan's hand to wave hello.

Chuck turned towards his sister and brother-in-law. "Morgan? Really?" He smirked as he saw both of them shrug their shoulders.

Devon shouted back, "It seemed only right dude."

Chuck shook his head laughing. "You sick, sick people." He reached out and took hold of Morgan, while Charlie hung onto his leg. "Hey guys, do you like computers?"

Ellie shouted after hearing his question. "Don't you start on them Chuck!" She and Devon started laughing.

Courtney meanwhile ran up and hugged Sarah. "I'm so glad you're back safe."

"There's no way that I was going to leave you behind to your own devices. Who knows how your life will turn out."

Courtney pouted. "And you're the one to teach me?"

"Who better than someone who did everything wrong to teach you how to get it right."

"As a matter of fact, I'm doing pretty well. There's this guy that I'm pretty serious about."

"He doesn't have government secrets in his head, does he?"

Courtney laughed. "No, I made sure."

Joining her, Sarah chuckled "Good."

"I have so much to tell you."

Sarah smiled at Courtney's anxiousness. "Don't worry, we aren't going anywhere anymore."

"Does that mean?"

"Yes it does.

Casey, Ilsa, Ellie and Devon joined in with Courtney. Ellie asked "What does what mean?"

Sarah replied "It means that Chuck and I are officially out of the CIA. This was the last mission we'll have."

"And the intersect?" asked Casey.

Sarah smiled. "Gone. We were able to use Fulcrum's computer to remove it from Chuck's mind. No more government secrets in that large head of his. As of now, we are just Charles Irving and Sarah Walker Bartowski; normal hard working members of society."

"Sarah Walker?" questioned Courtney. "You didn't use your real name?"

"Sarah is now my legal name. Besides I really didn't think I was alive until I became Sarah Walker and met Chuck. It seemed right that this is who I will permanently be."

Ellie started tearing up. "That sounds so romantic."

"Besides," Sarah continued, "If I changed my name now, I think Casey's too old to remember it."

"Ha ha, funny Sarah" answered back Casey.

Ellie looked around at the people gathered; she had never thought that she would see them all together again. "This is it? You guy's are done? No more globe-trotting, no more fighting?"

Chuck smiled. "That's it, Ellie. Sarah and I are now just Mr. and Mrs. Bartowski, who are in the process of looking for a home in the Los Angeles area. You wouldn't happen to know any good neighborhoods?"

Ellie nodded. "I know of a perfect one."

Sarah stepped back and looked around all the characters that had become major players in her life's story. A story that started out as a mismatched love took a sharp turn as tragedy struck, only to come back stronger as the heroine fought for what she finally found as the most important thing in her life. She thought back to all the hardships they endured and realized that each difficult situation only guided her back into the arms of the man she loved. As she looked at each face around her, Sarah knew that they all had a hand in shaping how things had turned out. Each one of them contributed in the writing of her story. Their story.

Sarah smiled and placed her hand over her stomach. She knew this was the end of her wild life as a CIA agent but the beginning of a whole different type of life with Chuck. She wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

_A/N extra: There it is. The final chapter in my second attempt at writing something serious for a change; although it did get a bit lighter towards the end. I hoped you enjoyed it. Thanks again for reading._

_A/N extra extra: For those who also read my other story, Sarah vs. the Real Chuck, forgive me for not updating that one as well. I have another chapter lined up and I just need to get in gear to proofread it. Unfortunately I have some great stories in mind but the willingness to write them is not there yet. Hopefully soon the writing bug will hit me again._


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